UMC HAS GREAT FOOD BUT (SURPRISE) A LOT OF STUDENTS
Mmm.. hamburgers and breakfast burritos and chocolate chip cookies. A full-on menu for meals. Good thing, because the food and the proximity were really my only two criterion going into this thing.
I probably could have gone longer without an epidural, but after 11 hours of labor I was at 7cm but not really going anywhere if I had to now be confined to a bed. I was admitted at about 2:30 pm and got a sweet room up on the 8th floor with a great view of the city and mountains.
Of course I had to be the anesthetist's FIRST epidural ever- it took 40 min to get the catheter into my back with an attending saying lovely things like "slower, slower!", "see that? Its in a blood vessel now" and "its ok, let's try again".
Around 7 pm I was feeling great! having watched the city lights and mountain shadows. I can't tell you how nice it is to be able to look at something from a hospital window.
We turned on parks and recreation and were juuuust starting to watch it when the resident said it was time to push. 10 min later and we had our baby boy :) Always a surreal experience. He calmed down pretty quickly which was a sweet feeling.
The thing about teaching hospitals though... is that someone is bothering you every 20 minutes. And they seem to sense those times that the baby is awake and crying because they never interrupt then- they always come in for a check juuuust as you have finally gotten him to sleep.
"excuse me, sorry to bother you..."
"Sorry, were you asleep?"
"Hi, I'm a third year student... I just need to ask you some questions"
"Hi, I'm here to make sure you don't close your eyes.."
needless to say we were ready to leave after 24 hrs.
It took till almost 48.
bleh :(. At least I got more cookies.
and hence my hesitation to go back the next day when I felt faint and had a fever and chills.
I won't tell the whole story here on my blog, but four more hours were spent in the hospital and I lost a lot of blood by the end of it all.
Thank goodness I have an amazing husband who made me go when I was hesitating and a mom who stayed with me for a week until I felt better.
BTW MY TWO YEAR OLD IS STARTING TO LOSE HER MIND
"babybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybaby!!!", She yells as she throws a blanket on his face. I let my anger fly as I grab the blanket off of him, but quickly rein myself back in.
I think she senses how tired I am today.
Today is one of those days where my emotions are very close to the surface. Its a day where a small thing like the baby not falling asleep quickly feels devastating. Where reading the news makes me cry.
I have to remember to stop avoiding or reacting to the frustration, to stop feeling ashamed or scared of it until it lashes out.
Accept it it freely, then move on.
I remember that this is hard for her, too. I am trying to give her nuggets of time- reading a book, telling her a story, rolling out some playdough- but I see her face fall every time I have to say no.
"Let's go read a book!"
"Sorry girl, mama has to go get baby. He's crying! Do you hear him?"
"No, mama, just leave him."
"I can't. He's crying"
"just come on, mama" (pulling at my shirt)
"Mama held you when you cried... now I will hold brother too"
Time to do some brainstorming! Its not enough to just pick my battles all day long. I think I need to get a routine going.
I have amazing friends and family. They have been so supportive.
And really, Baby Boy is an angel compared to his sister at this age. An angel.
