Anxious Childhood, Part 2: 4 Things

The more I read about how to deal with anxious children, the more I am trying to let go of my own fears of having an anxious child. So, for the first installment, and I know this may seem contradictory, but

4 Things to Know about Worrying Children

1. FEAR IS NORMAL. Until it's not.  Its not when it interferes in activities that seem easy to handle for other children AND it persists for 6 months or longer (from the Parent's Guide to Psychological First Aid, 2011). This is because its typical for children to move in and out of specific fears throughout childhood. If a child is worrying more than normal, you might consider finding therapy. Therapists really do know how to help.

2. ANXIETY RUNS IN THE FAMILY. One of the risk factors for anxiety disorders is having anxious parents.  Not only are genetics involved, but children may be mimicking parent's behavior when they begin to obsessively worry.

3. NEGATIVE EMOTIONS ARE A PART OF LIFE. The more you act like they aren't, the more you try get your child to avoid them or be ashamed of them, the more likely they are to become neurotic. (http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=negative-emotions-key-well-being). In other words, when you humiliate or punish a child for feeling fear, you are making things worse.

4. YOU CANNOT DO EVERYTHING FOR YOUR KIDS. Anything you read these days seems to disagree with this statement. We are responsible for everything our children think and do, right? Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. They are people too. Give them a break. Give yourself a break. I think my parents could have done differently to help me, but I really don't know what, exactly, and I don't blame them for dealing with it the way they did. As I said in my last post, I think getting older helped significantly with my OCD.

But besides getting a therapist, what can parents do to help? How should they react? Next post!