Look At Dat Face

OOk it's probably about time I wrote another blog post. Eh?
We've been really busy!!!

We moved last week!
We bought a house! We love it so far. It's right on the Rillito river walk and I can look out my windows and see Mt Lemmon all day. It is not too far away from anything (10 minutes to UMC) but it feels cozy and safe tucked away in a little corner.

Monsoon rains on Mt Lemmon

Fire on Mt Lemmon

there are a LOT of stairs though. I have already fallen down them more than once.

OK so YES also we ARE  still going to go to Flagstaff for my graduate program in 2016 (I think I mentioned already that I deferred enrollment for a year).


I love my mom. She's the best. My mom scraped ALL THE POPCORN off of this ceiling.

Because she loves me. I am spoiled. Also I am spoiled by my dad, who rescued us when our car broke the week after we moved into our new house. We are currently borrowing one of his Nissan pickup trucks..... the same one I drove in college. Well, one of the ones I drove in college. I've driven THREE different Nissan pickups. All the same make. All. Awesome. This one is the best though because it has no AC and no power steering. When I drove it in college I felt like He-Man.

C Belle is turning 3 soon. She is so smart. We went swimming the other day....
C: "See that?" (points to a life preserver hanging on the wall)
ME: "That's a life preserver! To help when someone is drowning"
C: "no mamma, that's an inner-tube. can you say inner-tube?"

C Belle is also a despot. a tyrant. a megalomaniac. I just keep reminding myself that she is... two. I'm pretty sure I was a handful when I was little. NO, i KNOW i was. And my little sister probably suffered more than anyone.

-One time, I filled a bucket of water, brought it up to the treehouse, and tricked her into standing under it by promising her candy.
-I also took toothpaste and smeared it all over her body, then ran and told my mom that she did it herself.
-I took a pen and wrote all over one of our picture albums- or was it a wall? I wrote "ANNA DID THIS"
-I used to silently scratch her or poke her till she cried in the backseat of the car, at the dinner table, watching tv,...pretty much everywhere.

I'm not a sociopath (I think), so I'm pretty sure C-Belle will be ok. I don't know if I, as her parent, will be though. Or Baby Boy. Fun times ahead, eh?

and Baby Boy is just a delight. He is so fat and cute and happy. He is already on his way to crawling (good thing I have a baby gate ready for the stairs!) and he's barely turning 6 months this week.

Frequently Asked Questions

HOW ARE  YOU?
Bless you if you ask me this question and really care. I used to ask people with brand new babies this question and sort of care what they said but I don't think I really "got it" until I went through it myself.

I'm tired. No, Lil' Brudder isn't sleeping through the night. Since C.Belle was such a -let's say- trial when she was an infant, I have only one request of him- be happier than his sister was. Blamo. Job done. (I'm really just kidding myself, people. I really love it when he sleeps more than 3 hours in a row)

DOES C.BELLE LIKE HER BROTHER?
hmmm.... if liking someone involves sitting on them.

The real answer to this question is that I think she's proud to have a baby brother, occasionally feels some nurturing towards him, but I don't think she has the capacity to process the fact that he will one day have a brain. I'm excited for that to happen. It will either be very good or very scary.

 (happy brudder)

 (wary brudder)

 (catalog model brudder)

 (disturbed brudder)

 (lil brudder)

WHAT ARE YOU AND ADAM UP TO?
We had a rare treat- a visit from Great-Grandma!

My Grandma is a cool lady. 

Then we celebrated Easter. My BFF Mandy and I sang in church.. She has a voice like buttuh. It is like a drug when I sing with her. 

There was a ward egg hunt and C.Belle wasn't scared of the bunny! hooray! Maybe that's because he had candy.... we will need to work on her judgement of people's character. 

Adam's family came to visit us for Baby A's blessing. It was so nice to see them all! We had a blast.

Then we went to Gramma B's house for some recreation and family time. I love that two of my siblings live so close by. 

(sorry jen, this pic was too cute not to post into my blog)

hard to believe these pictures are from Easter a year ago:

I am helping with the roadshow for church (a bunch of silly skits) and our show is on Saturday. We are doing Jacob and Esau (Esau traded his birthright for soup).
Here's a little preview:

Did I say this in my last post? Adam was hired on at UMC and started the week after Baby A was born. He loves it. He'll be on the trauma floor next week so if you get seriously injured, maybe he'll see you there!

We tried going up Mt. Lemmon last week on his day off and that was about 85% failure. Turns out C. Belle inherited her mother's vestibular system. I'll be surprised if she asks to eat strawberries again.

I got into NAU for graduate school in SLP, and then we were waiting to see if I got into another program that would allow us to stay in Tucson, but they wanted me to take leveling courses that would take -not kidding- years to complete.

So we are moving to Flagstaff.

But not until 2016!!!!! I asked for a deferral and they granted it :).

I am really, really excited to go back to school.

......FLAGSTAFF?
Yes, I know. It is cold there. The low yesterday was like, 19 degrees. I don't care though, I'm going to grad school!  Adam and I are going to be a dynamic therapy duo!

I Was Right About the Food

UMC HAS GREAT FOOD BUT (SURPRISE) A LOT OF STUDENTS

Mmm.. hamburgers and breakfast burritos and chocolate chip cookies. A full-on menu for meals. Good thing, because the food and the proximity were really my only two criterion going into this thing. 

I probably could have gone longer without an epidural, but after 11 hours of labor I was at 7cm but not really going anywhere if I had to now be confined to a bed. I was admitted at about 2:30 pm and got a sweet room up on the 8th floor with a great view of the city and mountains.

Of course I had to be the anesthetist's FIRST epidural ever- it took 40 min to get the catheter into my back with an attending saying lovely things like "slower, slower!", "see that? Its in a blood vessel now" and "its ok, let's try again". 

Around 7 pm I was feeling great! having watched the city lights and mountain shadows. I can't tell you how nice it is to be able to look at something from a hospital window. 

We turned on parks and recreation and were juuuust starting to watch it when the resident said it was time to push. 10 min later and we had our baby boy :) Always a surreal experience. He calmed down pretty quickly which was a sweet feeling. 

The thing about teaching hospitals though... is that someone is bothering you every 20 minutes. And they seem to sense those times that the baby is awake and crying because they never interrupt then- they always come in for a check juuuust as you have finally gotten him to sleep.

"excuse me, sorry to bother you..."

"Sorry, were you asleep?"

"Hi, I'm a third year student... I just need to ask you some questions" 

"Hi, I'm here to make sure you don't close your eyes.."

needless to say we were ready to leave after 24 hrs.

It took till almost 48.

bleh :(. At least I got more cookies. 

and hence my hesitation to go back the next day when I felt faint and had a fever and chills. 

I won't tell the whole story here on my blog, but four more hours were spent in the hospital and I lost a lot of blood by the end of it all. 

Thank goodness I have an amazing husband who made me go when I was hesitating and a mom who stayed with me for a week until I felt better. 

BTW MY TWO YEAR OLD IS STARTING TO LOSE HER MIND

"babybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybaby!!!", She yells as she throws a blanket on his face. I let my anger fly as I grab the blanket off of him, but quickly rein myself back in. 

I think she senses how tired I am today. 

Today is one of those days where my emotions are very close to the surface. Its a day where a small thing like the baby not falling asleep quickly feels devastating. Where reading the news makes me cry.

I have to remember to stop avoiding or reacting to the frustration, to stop feeling ashamed or scared of it until it lashes out. 

Accept it it freely, then move on. 

I remember that this is hard for her, too. I am trying to give her nuggets of time- reading a book, telling her a story, rolling out some playdough- but I see her face fall every time I have to say no.

"Let's go read a book!"

"Sorry girl, mama has to go get baby. He's crying! Do you hear him?"

"No, mama, just leave him."

"I can't. He's crying"

"just come on, mama" (pulling at my shirt)

"Mama held you when you cried... now I will hold brother too" 

Time to do some brainstorming! Its not enough to just pick my battles all day long. I think I need to get a routine going. 

I have amazing friends and family. They have been so supportive.

And really, Baby Boy is an angel compared to his sister at this age. An angel. 

  

Its the Final Countdown!

This is a post I forgot to publish 5 weeks ago:

COUNTDOWN TO BABY #2

He's almost here :) 3 more weeks. Yikes.

I'M A BIG VOLCANO, WIDE AND TALL... 

For preschool this month, we are doing ROCKS. My mother lent me her books on gems/rocks/volcanos etc. and her rock collection. The kids learned words like "crystals" "lava" and "fossil" and asked me about every single rock in the collection.

"What's this one?"

ummm... 

"Sandstone.... Its like if you made a smoothie out of sand and stuck it in the freezer and made a popsicle out of it. It sat there so long it all got stuck together forever."

  =   

All very scientific.

We Done Did It Again

UPDATEs:

-Adam loves loves loves working in acute care at UAMC (I always called it UMC, and so does all of Tucson, but apparently that's incorrect). We hope he can get a job there when his fieldwork is done and he passes the boards in January. 

**Can I just interject here and say it is so nice to not be surrounded by Sun Devil merch anymore? **

WHAT? HE'S GOING TO HAVE A JOB THAT ACTUALLY PAYS?

He is beyond thrilled. Adam has been avoiding and stressing about homework for the past DECADE. It will finally be over!!! 

-I am doing a preschool (well more like pre preschool) co-op with some friends here and it is so much fun coming up with materials, songs, and activities for the kids. We have one parent teach for each week in a month and then switch themes. Don't get too impressed... this preschool is not for academics, its really just a way for our kids to play together (which is what kids really need to do anyway) and for us to get some stuff done while they are gone :). Also..

PRESCHOOL IS REALLY JUST A WAY FOR ME TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT LETTING HER WATCH TV 

Because when you are pregnant, your kid is going to watch tv while you sleep. 

-Adam and I are expecting a baby boy come February. I try not to think about it a lot. My affirmations include "He won't be colicky! I wouldn't get two children like that in a row!", "There's no way my herniated disc will act up again!", "I know what I'm doing this time!", and "Baby girl will be totally cool with a baby brother :)"

Just a reminder of how much fun it was...

I DON'T CARE ABOUT HOW I HAVE THIS BABY

really, I don't. It could be the worst/best possible experience but I know that at THE MOST it can only last like what, 48 hours? What I worry about is what comes next. Because that lasts for 18 years. 

Ok I do care about delivery sometimes but that feeling is fleeting. Bring on the IVs, gowns, and bedpans, people... I couldn't care less!

-I finished applying to grad schools again. I have decided to not think about the possibilities involved in actually going until acceptance/denial season starts in March. Let's just say that we would seriously consider moving for school next year if I got in. Moving someplace cold. Yuck. That's IF I get in though. I have a feeling I'll be trying to think of ways to boost my admissions application again come spring. 

WAYS TO BOOST YOUR ADMISSIONS APPLICATION IF YOU WERE LIKE ME IN COLLEGE

- Have a time machine and go back to when you were an idiot undergrad. Have a rapport with professors and do your homework earlier and more carefully, not because it excites you the way papers for your Geography major do, but because doing well in this major could actually lead you to a fulfilling, amazing job. 

- Spend an inordinate amount of money taking or re-taking classes so that you can have an academic letter of reference.

- Suddenly become a type-A personality with a 4.0 like all the other applicants!

- Learn to speak spanish. Fluently. French is useless for getting into grad school for speech.

OH YEAH AND CHRISTMAS IS IN TWO WEEKS!!

I really can't wait to hang out all together again with the fam. Even if all we do is try to have a conversation about how much we hate facebook (and still use it) while our toddlers are hitting each other.

And now for some pics (because I know you don't come here to read what I said)

 Adam in his most formal OT outfit, pretending our daughter is a client for a picture that might be in a future textbook.

 She really, really likes to accessorize.

 from our camping trip to the Chirhicahuas in Oct. Baby girl kept repeating, "Go home? Go home?"

The face I see most often these days.
"DO IT MYSELF, MAMMA!"...."mama help?"

Summer Catch-UP

I haven't written anything since February. Shameful, I know.

BABY GIRL CAN TALK
Something amazing happens when children reach a vocabulary of around 50 words; their brains explode. Baby Girl is regularly saying things like "shoes off" or "shirt wet" or "baby sad". It is so much fun. And her favorite song to sing to herself is... "hah-sheh, hah-sheh......down!" (ashes ashes we all fall down).

BABY GIRL CAN ALSO THROW A FIT

FAMILY REUNION
We went to Sprucedale guest ranch, which BTW is an awesome place to have a reunion. We mostly just hung out on the porch, talked, and enjoyed the non-110 degree weather. There were also kittens and some crawdads involved.

 The Fam.... minus Adam who had school.

 Baby Girl can haz cousins!

 Singing "Let it Go"

 the PORCH!

VIDEO! (please excuse the mess)

ADAM IS SO CLOSE TO FINISHING
School is done in two weeks!- his last quarter of OT school. What is OT? It's hard to explain.  He will be done with school in August, have a graduation but not really graduation, and then we are moving back to Tucson for his last fieldwork at University Medical Center. When that ends in December, all that's left is to take the board exam.

We've already found a place to rent:
I love love love old houses and this place is almost the same square footage as the house we're in now. It's also a 5 minute bike-ride to UMC.

you know how I love porches...

may have to replace that mirror above the fireplace with something else..

and yes, it has a birdbath!

AS FOR ME, YOU ASK?
This is embarrassing.

I didn't get into grad school this round. Not shocking actually, seeing as how I did it completely last minute, only applied to two extremely competitive schools (although it seems like ALL schools are competitive in my field), and have only an average undergrad GPA. I do have great recommendations from the SLPs I've worked with, and a GRE score that I can be proud of, so that's.... something.

So, I'm going to start applying again in September, maybe take a class this semester to test the waters, and probably apply every year for a decade until I get in. Can I just say though,
I am SO FRUSTRATED in this moment. And writing this, I can't help but worry that some people are going to read it and feel smug. That's because, yes, I am feeling very insecure right now and jealous of you for getting into grad school whoever you are.

Another part of me is like, is this the best time to be obsessing? Because I'm also pregnant.

YEP, WE'RE DOING THIS AGAIN
When I didn't get in, then we were like, ok time for another one! It's a.... fetus! Too early to tell what it is... I'm due in February.

Happy Baby Things That Go

I love my baby girl.

So let me describe her a bit right now, as she is.

Her favorite book right now is called "Happy Baby Things That Go". She's way into cars/trains/planes because of it.

Yesterday, we went to town lake and walked around. Every time a plane flew by (like every 2 minutes), she would look around, eyes all squinty until she found it, point to it, and then look at me with a big smile on her face.

When you say 'firetruck', she will ring an imaginary bell. 

Her favorite song is "Open, Shut Them". Or at least it was before I started using it as a way to cajole her out of crying. She doesn't stand for that. 

She gives great hugs. She gave me one this morning when I got her out of her bed. Then she promptly put her finger to her mouth and went "Shhh!" because she saw her baby doll lying nearby and for some reason she says "shhh" whenever its near.

She is fascinated with shoes.  Whenever she goes in my room with me, she picks some out and tries to get me to put them on. 

I don't understand anything she says besides "no", "go", and "dada". 

She likes letting her milk spill all over the place. I make her clean it up every time, but that doesn't seem to deter her from doing it again. 

She likes to sit on the side of the sink while I wash dishes. I am glad she likes doing that because it means she is distracted while I get them done. Unfortunately, one of her favorite things to do is splash me with water.  Sometimes she just runs her hand under the faucet and then wipes it off on my shirt. We both end up soaked.

She has absolutely no set mealtimes or sleep times. I keep thinking that this will happen magically but I guess I am supposed to facilitate that as a parent or something?

She still eats dirt. We spend a good half-hour out in the backyard on my days off and she likes to get a nice handful, look up at me, and then stuff it right in. Gross.

When I pull her out of her car seat, she often cries. I thought this was because she didn't want to go through all the rigamarole of getting back inside the house but I found out today that it is because she wants to sit in the front seat and touch all the buttons. That is usually what makes her upset... I am doing something, and she doesn't get to try. At dinner tonight, she was whining at my feet and when I finally had a chance to pick her up, all she wanted was to stir the pot.

When I start a sentence with "where", she opens her palms like she is asking 'where', too.

Her favorite thing at the library is the stairs.

She has bed head every single day.

She thinks that a kiss is when you blow your nose on someone's face.